Paradox.

I don't know if I am the only one who feels this. Or maybe just everyone around us feels the same, but keeps it up to themselves. Am I, too, supposed to keep this up to myself? Or should I scream and shout to the world?
There are days I feel like I should travel the entire world and see new places and wear new clothes and meet new people and learn new kind of art. And some days, I feel like locking myself up in my room, sliding inside my blanket, disconnecting all the chords with the world and peacefully read 'The Fault In Our Stars.'
There are days I feel like running away, to an unknown place, a place far away from here, where no one would know my name. And some days, I feel like doing something so great or achieving something so magnificent that the entire world would know me.
There are days I crave for attention, and do all the possible things to get noticed and liked and appreciated. And some days I feel like the attention I actually get from people should be just overthrown and I reject it when it comes my way.
There are days when I die to meet him, to see him, to talk to him, to feel him, to communicate with him. And some days, I feel like I don't want him at all, like I don't want to come in contact with him, like I don't want to see him, ever.
I know I'm an epic contradiction. But am I the only one? Or there are millions like me?

My Ethereal World.

"Ethereal World?" She screamed with all her energy.

"Yes." I murmured.

Wait! What on the earth is that? Tell me right here," she yelled back.

I gathered up my shit and tried to be confident in front of her- my bestfriend, more than that a soul sister. I was going to explain her something which even I wasn't sure of. 

"Speak up," she said, trying to be calm.

"Sneha," I began, hesitatingly, "Ethereal World is my world. A world, where there’s peace. That’s it.”

“I don’t understand.” She declared. “Explain it, elaborate.”

“Um, how do I explain it? It’s like the place I’d had always dreamt of. Peaceful. Nonchalant. Where I don’t give a damn to what everybody does. Where I am more of me, than I’d ever been. It’s like a virtual world that I’ve created around myself. The things that used to hurt me, the things that used to get on my nerves don’t affect me anymore here. It’s the world I always wanted to be in. I am no more affected by someone’s being there or no. I’ve built walls around myself and I am in no mood to enter the outside world. It’s secluded and solitary. No one can enter. And I cannot go out, willingly or unwillingly. I like it in here, it’s undisturbed and serene. Worldly things don’t seem to bother me as much as they did, before. I feel calm and placid. This imaginary place I’ve built around me, it’s stolid. It’s like, I feel free, like that bird flying high up in the air, which has no worries. More, it’s like being intoxicated. It’s addictive, this virtual place. It gives me immense happiness and makes me cool and composed each time I should’ve been hurt and crying. I feel nothing but ecstasy here. And I don’t know its good or no.”

I took a pause.

“You understand?” I asked her.

“To the bits. Idio, it’s really good that you don’t feel hurt or pain. It’s really good that you are happy. But remember, you cannot stay in here forever. You’ve to come out of this Ethereal World someday.”

“I know,” I said, “And I’d keep hoping and praying that the day never comes. I want to stay here, forever.”