You.

Hey there!

We've come a long way, and I never anticipated that you would be the one. But well, things never turn out to be the way we plan them, and that's the funniest and the most wonderful part about life, you never know who amongst such a big crowd can be your person.

But you.

Let me start from the beginning. You came into my life as a blessing, and I really thank my stars that made me come across you.
Initially, when our bond was nascent, I was a shy little puppy wrapped within layers of anxiety, sadness, shyness, fear of being judged and betrayed. I'd thought that you'd leave, too, like everybody else did, when they got to know the real me. I was afraid to show myself to the world, I wasn't confident. I wasn't hopeful about anything. When I needed someone the most, you walked in my life and through thick and thin, you've stuck by, you've stayed. Even when I burst out crying about the most random thing possible, I always found your arms around me, consoling me, comforting me, and making me believe in myself. Even when I shouted and screamed at you to leave me alone, you were there, you always were there. Even when I treated you really shitty, you could've just walked away and searched for your own happiness, but you stayed by my side. Even when I got furious at you, though not your mistake, you didn't fight back. You listened to me. You made me feel home. You made me believe in myself. You made me. I am who I am because of you.

Oh, you.

Now I know, they say right, 'you know it's true when home doesn't mean a place, but a person.'
You made me understand that I could be myself without the fear of being judged. You understood me in ways nobody else did. You gave me wings, and it is because of you that I can fly today. I owe myself to you. Even when you had your own problems to deal with, you chose to help me solve mine. Even when being with me meant altering your choices, you didn't abandon me. Even when you know you deserve a million times better, I still find you with me. And you must know what that means to me. Even when things could've fallen apart between us, you always initiated to sort things out, instead of ending what we had. You always believed in mending. You always were there. You always cared. You always stood by me.

Yet again, you.

Today, when I stand at this point of life, I wonder. How different would my life had been, had I not met you? Would I be any different, because yes, I am because you are. Nothing's different when you aren't there. I survive without you. But with you, I live. You made me live. Even when I wanted to die, you added meaning to my life. Even when I fell short of love, for myself and for you, you gave me your share and made me feel complete. Even when I wanted to run away from you, because I knew I hurt you, you always held me tight. Even when  you could've walked away, you chose to walk with me. How do I even thank you? Your presence rejuvenates my life. Your essence adds a flavor. Your affection hovers around me even when you aren't around. You make me feel good about myself.

Still, you.

We still have our respective lives ahead. All these years you've spent on me, I promise to do the same for you. Even when I'm in darkness, I promise to lighten your world. Even when I'm done with the world, I promise to help you with everything you do. Even when I have demons of my own, I promise to help you fight yours. Even when I can't think straight, I'll always be there near you, sharing in everything you do. Because, you have done the same for me. You have been that tiny ray of hope in my world, that has gotten me through. You have been that person, I'd been craving all my life. And now that I have you, I promise to keep you, happy and satisfied. I promise I'd never let you go to bed sad. I promise to stay by your side.
And in the end, I promise to keep all my promises. Because, you are special.

The verses of a song seem fit here,
"You're my back bone, you're my cornerstone
You're my crutch when my legs stop moving
You're my headstart, you're my rugged heart
You're the pulse that I've always needed."

You. I love you.

Hey You!

Hey you!

You, anonymous person in each of our lives, I’m writing this to you.

I know, I’ll be difficult at times. And I’ll make it even more difficult for you to stand by me and be with me. I know, I’ll always test your patience. I’ll be annoying, too. I know I am, already. At times, I’ll feel like running away from you, breaking all chords from you and keep running. But, you are the person I’ll come running to each time, even if I was running from you at the first place.

I will fake it sometimes. The smile, the laugh, the happiness, it’ll all be forced. But care to look past every layer of nastiness in me, and you’ll find a child who just wants to be loved. A child who’s hiding from this world and who is afraid to be knocked down by the people I care immensely about.

I will want to be isolated from the world. I’m human. I will want to lock myself in my room and read a book or two, and drink gallons of coffee. But that doesn’t make me monotonous and neither does it mean that I don’t enjoy with you. This is who I am and this is where I find solace.

At times, I’ll get mad at you for absolutely no reason, and get irritated if you try to even talk to me. I will want to be alone. But that wouldn’t make me love you even a bit lesser than I do today.

There are these little things I need you to understand, and not walk away from me when I’m tough. Because, life is a roller coaster, and there are ups and downs. I need you to enjoy the highs and lows with me, always. And never forget, you’re precious to me, whoever you are- parents, friends, lover, colleagues. I love you immensely.

“Who am I, you ask?

I am made from

All the people I’ve encountered

And all the things I’ve experienced.

Inside, I hold

The laughter of my friends,

The arguments with my parents,

The chattering of young children,

And the warmth from kind strangers.

Inside, there are

Stitching from cracked hearts,

Bitter words from heated arguments,

Music that gets me through,

And emotions I can’t convey.

I am made from

All these people and moments.

This is who I am.”

-Ming D. Liu.

Oblivion

“It is half past eleven. The breezes seem to tickle me, but unable to make me smile. I feel drowsy. Things are uneasy. My heart aches and my eyes are welled up. I feel numb, the serenity of the road and the silence of the dark night makes me want to shout and scream, and pour all that I have inside of me, out. I am walking, without a direction. I don’t know where to go. I am clueless about what I am going to do in my life now. The white dress I’d worn has stains of blood and mud. I never knew it’d turn out this way. I cannot speak, my voice seems blocked. My body isn’t functioning well. I know I should see a doctor, but owing to what I’m going through, the thought has distanced itself from me. I miss him already. Terribly. I want to cry, but I cannot. I see a bruise on my left hand. It should’ve hurt. But it doesn’t. All that pains is my heart.

‘Ahana, where are you going? Wait.’ Shipra calls me from behind.

I turn around blankly, wondering what she’s doing there. She takes my phone in her hand and shows me seven missed calls of her. I don’t react. I just keep looking at her. She looks sad, I know, she’s cried, too. But I am way too hurt as compared to her. I’ve lost him. It isn’t even comparable. She shakes me, holding my arms. She takes out a handkerchief and ties it around my wound. It still doesn’t ache. A tear rolls down my cheeks. I want this numbness to end, I want to see him. He heals me. He completes me. And now, destiny has asked me to stay with the scar, incomplete, till the end.

‘He’s dead.’ As I say these words, I break down. I hug Shipra and I cry. Sitting on the road, I curse everything. I curse the night, the spirit of the universe and all that I can think of right now. I’m loud enough to attract the people passing by and the auto rickshaw drivers as well. But I don’t care. I need to get this out of me. It’s horrible. All I can think of right now is Hazel Grace, saying, “The only person I wanted to talk about Augustus Waters’ death was Augustus Waters.”

I need to talk to him. I need him. I need him to hug me and tell me he’s there, when I know he’s not. He’s gone, long gone. Thinking this makes me feel void, like I’m just a structure of flesh, but hollow inside. I scream out to feel better. Nothing helps. Everything’s stopped. Time isn’t flying like it did, when I was with him.

Strangely, whatever I think relates to him. Or maybe, I’m linking everything to him, because I feel that this may make God feel pity for me and maybe He’d give him back to me. I’m being mad, mad at God. How could He snatch him away me, when He knew he’s all I’ve got? How could God be so cruel and ruthless? I’m angry.

‘Shipra, he was all I had. He was my soul mate. He understood me. Who will hug me and assure me things are fine? Who will bring me chocolates when I’m mad? Who will kiss me when I need to shut up? Who will make me feel secure, the way I felt in his arms? Who will tease me till I get irritated, and then, still irritate me some more? Who will smile at me when I’m angry, melting all the furiousness with that one smile? How will I live? It was his birthday today. And the strangest gift he received on his birthday was death. The accident took him away from me forever. I need him, bring him back to me please, please, bring him back. I beg of you.’ I cry, as loud as I could. I know he is never going to come back.”


____________________________________________________________________

‘Where are you lost, Ahana? Cut the cake.” Shipra says.

I smile and cut the cake and eat a piece of it. I never liked cakes, but it is his birthday.

‘It’s been seven years for the accident Ahana. Why do you still celebrate his birthday, when everyone else remembers his death?’ Shipra asks.

‘Because he’d taught me to stay positive and oversee all the bad in life. I want him to be happy, wherever he is.’

‘And why don’t you just move on?’ She further questions.

‘Because I love him.’ I say, smile and walk away.

I’ve now learnt to live with the emptiness. But, I’m never alone. As I celebrate his birthday, as I live, I know he’s there, always. I can feel him around me. Love isn't always being with each other, it's being in each other's hearts.

And the best stories don’t have an end. They live, forever. Like him. Like us.

Consternation

                          

It was Mihir’s first day at office, and he had to work overtime the very first day; so basically, it was his first day and night at the office. He was a trainee, an apprentice. He had to learn his work from his seniors. In the morning itself, he had met Akshay, his senior. They had exchanged glances and had talked about work. Akshay was a down to earth person, for he didn’t show dominance over his junior, Mihir. They had become more like friends than colleagues. In the evening, Akshay had to rush home due to an emergency, and that is why the very first day had turned out to be an overtime one for Mihir.

Before leaving, Akshay explained all the work to Mihir, and asked him to do it on his behalf. Mihir agreed. Akshay waited for some time, for checking if Mihir had understood the work to be done correctly. Bidding a goodbye to all his colleagues, Akshay left.

Soon after that, the other people from the office began to leave, too. About two hours later, Mihir was alone in the office. He looked here and there, at the empty seats of his mates. He was getting bored, so he decided to play subway surfers for some time, and then continue his work again. He was utterly engrossed in skipping the hurdles, jumping from one train to the other and escaping the hands of the Inspector, when he heard a chair move. He paused the game and walked to the direction of the chair.

There was a pin-drop silence, with not even a breeze. There was no one in the office other than him, and Sharma ji, the security guard on the gate. Then how did the chair move? His heartbeats got faster, while he asked, “Who’s in there?” He went near the chair to find out that it was perfectly at its place. He thought it was his over thinking. He laughed at himself and went back to his place. Little did he know, this was just the beginning.

Everything was perfectly fine till 1 am. Mihir was making the presentation Akshay had asked him to. Suddenly, Mihir heard someone’s footsteps. He stood up, sweating a little.

“Is it you, Sharma ji?” He asked. There came no reply.

The steps were still audible to him. As and as he went in the direction of the steps, they seemed farther. Following the steps, he had reached the parking lot. There were still 4 cars there, and he couldn’t figure out where his own car was. Yes, the four vehicles didn’t have his car. He called Sharma ji.

“Sharma ji! Come here! Sharma ji!” He yelled.

Sharma ji showed no signs. Mihir was now genuinely scared. He ran throughout the parking. Neither the steps were audible now, nor could he find out his car. Suddenly, the headlights of all the vehicles started blinking. He looked here and there, terrified. He held his head.

“What is going on here?” He screamed.

No reply came by, but those four vehicles began moving now, from all four directions, towards Mihir. He shrieked, “Aaahhh!” The vehicles sped up, and so did his heartbeats.

“Pleaseee, don’t. Please.” He shouted again, and collapsed on his knees and closed his eyes.

The cars stopped an inch away from him. He stood up and ran, as fast as he could, as far as he could. He went near the lift, and entered in. The door closed. As soon as the lift started, he let out a sigh of relief. But this wasn’t the end; fear was still waiting for him. He sat down, for he was tired of running and engulfed by fear.

Suddenly, the lift stopped between the eighth and the ninth floor. The lights went off. He heard those footsteps again.

“Who’s there? Help me. Help me, please. I’m stuck in here, in the lift. Please help me.” He cried. No one replied, but he heard another noise of someone cutting some sort of wire. And as soon as the noise stopped, the lift crashed down. The lift was going down and Mihir was crying by now.

He was screaming, and closed his eyes for the worst.

Death is the only truth of life, and when it arrives, we are left spellbound and everything is beyond our control. All of our lives, the only fear we live in, is that of death. But when we face it in real, is it really a fear? The feeling is eternal; we are not bound by even our fear at that time, no?

The lift was crashing down and Mihir was prepared to face The Fear. But, life had some other plans. Mihir fainted. No one knows what happened then. It was 3.30 am, when he woke up in the cabin of his boss. He tried hard to remember how he had landed there. But he didn’t remember anything after the lift crash. How had he survived?

At first, he thought he had been dreaming about all that’d happened. But then, he should’ve been at his place and not this cabin. He was confused, so to confirm if all of those incidents had happened in real, he went near the lift. The lift had crashed completely. Mihir was shocked. Then, he went in the parking lot. There were those four cars again, and he was convinced now, that it wasn’t his dream. It had happened in real. But then, how was he okay?

Was he dead? Was this office haunted?

Mihir went back to his place. He sat on his cubicle, and began completing the presentation he had begun working on, ages ago. But he was still afraid, nothing was certain. He worked for some time, then. But all that began again. The computer on the cubicle beside his turned on, on its own. On its screen was written, “The end is near.”

The electricity went off. Mihir began running; and entered his boss’ cabin again. That was a cruel night, the dim light was blinking and there were voices of people laughing, but there was no one around. Time seemed to have stopped in that moment, Mihir’s heart was about to fail due to fear.

“Who are you? What do you want? Why are you doing this to me?” Mihir cried loudly, scared to death.

Suddenly all the lights turned on, and Akshay walked in.

“Got scared my boy? It was just a prank!” Akshay said and laughed hard on Mihir, “I had thought of you as a brave man, but it seems that you’re still a coward boy!” Akshay laughed again.

Mihir stood up, wiped out his tears and hugged Akshay. Mihir’s eyes were red. He smirked and whispered in Akshay’s ear, “The biggest prank had been played on you. I had been dead seven years ago, here, in this office. Catch me if you can.”

Hearing this, Akshay fainted.

The next morning, Akshay woke up, to find out that there was no trainee named Mihir ever registered in the office.

Why every girl deserves a guy like Augustus Waters.

Augustus Waters is a name every girl has heard of. And in no way, there's a doubt about some or the other day, each girl has thought of having Augustus Waters all to herself. So what makes this fictional character so appealing and amazing? Here are a few reasons every girl should have her Augustus Waters in her life.

1. He's there for you when you don't believe in yourself: Yes, he's seen it all. Not just all the good times, but he has seen you fall apart and get back together. And through everything, he's been there to support you and make you believe that you are worth!

2. He is willing to adaptible for you: He knows how mad you can get, how moody you are, and how small things give you the biggest happiness. He is willing to change his behavior for you, and never complain!

3. He's your best friend: Remember Hazel Grace saying, "The only person I wanted to talk about Augustus Waters' death was Augustus Waters." You can talk to him about anything in the world and know he'd stick through!

4. He's gorgeous: Of course, good looks are just a bonus if the person with you is good at heart. A glance at him, and you experience the happiness like never before. He's magical.

5. He understands you: From your wildest dreams to weirdest wishes, he knows it all. And still thinks of you as sane and encourages you to pursue your dreams. Even at your lowest, you can cry your heart out with him and you know, he just understands.

6. He looks at you 'that' way: You just know by the way he looks at you, his eyes speak everything he wants to. The love and affection, you can read in his eyes and sense in his smile.

7. He never hurts you: Yes, at least not intentionally. He tries his level best and even more than that, to keep you happy and fulfill your wishes. He's an angel sent to earth for you.

8. You're sure about him: Sure in the sense, you know he's yours and he won't cheat you or leave you, no matter what. Despite of the hurdles in your relationship, he's willing to stay and sort, instead of leaving.

9. Only death can tear you apart: Although only physically, but death is a constraint and the only one. You know you both are together as long as you live. :)

Enwreathed by fear.

I stood etiolated. I could not figure out what was happening around me. I looked here and there. There was a bunch of known people, while all the others were unknown faces. I was dumbfounded. Things weren’t making sense to me, at least not anymore. Where on the earth was I? What was happening?

I looked at myself. My hairs were open, little messed. I looked blurred, literally. I wore a knee-length yellow piece of cloth, which dangled through my right shoulder. I wasn’t wearing my ring, or watch, or bangle, which I always wore. And this dress? Oh, I couldn’t even make out what attire it was. It was just loosely wrapped around my body. I seemed a little whitish to me- not fairer, but white. My heart had started pounding. I was pale and dull.

I realized people were coming to me, but it was as if none of them saw me. They kept coming, offered sweets and flowers at my feet. But I was sure, they didn’t see me. Why were they not seeing me? Why did no one notice me and my weirdness? I ignored, but stood there. I’d thought when someone known would come; I’d ask them what was going on in here. But all the familiar faces had gone by now. I was alone with these unknown people, and none of them was even looking at me. I felt nauseous. I felt like crying.

I looked straight, in front of me. It was a huge hall, with two doors, one at the leftmost corner in front, and beside it, following a wall, was another door in the rightmost corner. People were entering from the right door and leaving from the left. My eyes kept searching for Mithil, he would surely tell me what was happening.

Mithil, the name itself brought a smile on my face, in spite of the complexities I was in, right now. Mithil was the love of my life cum my best friend cum everything. He made it all worth. He made me live through all the bad times. He loved me unconditionally and I loved him, too. Coming to the present, though I couldn’t find him, I had a gut feeling that he was present there. There is this power in the universe, which connects us to the one we love. I could sense him.

I carefully crossed all the things kept near my feet and entered the crowd. People were talking amongst themselves, and now I thought maybe I knew each one of them. I was just unable to recollect who they were. As I overheard some of them talking, I realized everyone was sad, condolences were being offered and tears were being wiped. I wanted to be sad and cry, too. I couldn’t. Like, someone had surgically taken away those abilities from me. I felt eternal, not happy or sad, just eternal. It was as if I was in the air, I felt light and warm. I wanted to touch something, somebody, or anything. I looked here and there and searched for Mithil.

Finally, I spotted him near the right door. People were entering from that door, and he was leaving. Silly! I thought, he’s always up to something people don’t do. Silly, silly! I loved him to the bits. I began walking towards him. I called him out. Nobody near me heard my voice. I was genuinely scared. I ran towards him. He didn’t seem to see me.

I reached the door. I tried to hold his hand. I could not. I couldn’t get the grip. Neither did he feel my touch. He looked at me, but looked through me, past me. To the place I was standing before. “I miss you,” he said. I couldn’t comprehend whom did he miss, I was right there. I yelled aloud. He didn’t hear me. My eyebrows narrowed out of fear. I screamed his name. He still didn’t hear, didn’t see me. I had gotten restless by now.

Mithil walked out of the door, shedding a tear. Why was he crying? Why didn’t he hear me? Why didn’t anyone hear me? What the hell was happening? I ran hastily, frightened, looking for someone who'd see me, hear me, notice me at least. There was no one. Each second ticked in my mind, scaring me more and more. I keep running. I kept touching people. I kept screaming aloud. Louder. More louder. In vain.

People didn’t see me, people didn’t hear me. They were all sad. They were crying. Nobody even showed a sign of seeing me there.

Was I . . dead? 

“NO. . .!” I shouted, and woke up. I was dreaming. I checked the time, it was 2.56 am, and had an unread text. I knew it was of Mithil.

“Good night, baby. I love you a lot.” It read.

I smiled.

A Great Teacher.

            Teaching people is one of the toughest jobs, I believe. It actually means moulding the beliefs and mindsets people hold about things. And to be honest, it requires gumptions and guts to present our knowledge before a crowd of people, who are absolutely unaware of what is going to be spoken. A teacher is the one who lays the foundation, the base. It’s a huge responsibility, and there’s always a risk. But, higher the risk, higher the reward!

“A mediocre teacher tells. A good teacher explains. A superior teacher demonstrates. But a great teacher inspires.”

So, who is great teacher? A person flaunting the certificate of his degree everywhere and to everyone he meets? Or, a person who can preach a sense of learning in his students? I guess the latter one. A teacher is the one who befriends his students and showers all his knowledge on them.

Let us try to figure out, what qualities are essential for being a great teacher?

            Firstly, a great teacher is adaptable. He can change his tricks and ways of teaching according to the crowd in front of him, depending on the situations and purposes. A great teacher is willing to change and amend even his traditional ways of teaching to make his students learn.

Secondly, a great teacher understands. He knows, not all students are of equal calibre. He recognizes the skills and talents of his students and encourages them to pursue and improvise the same. A great teacher is a great motivation, and the biggest energy booster anyone can have.

Then, a great teacher is a role model of all. He has such a good image sculpted in everyone’s eyes, that his students become fond of him. He has such an ideal and impressive personality, that everyone wants to have the same depth of knowledge as his, and ultimately, he is regarded to be everyone’s role model.

To come next, a great teacher is worthy. His students adore him to the fullest and he leaves a noteworthy mark on everyone’s hearts and minds. His students look forward to the time when they would be learning new things from him. He carves even the minutest parts of his students’ personalities.

Again, a good teacher is impartial. He doesn’t cling to prejudices and treats everyone equally. He has a clean heart, which doesn’t differentiate between his students. He considers everyone as his ‘own’ and gives away all the love he has, equally to everyone. He acts strict at times, but always wants his students to excel in whatever they do.

A good teacher can read eyes. Just by looking at his students, he can know if something is wrong with them. He knows and understands if his students are happy, or the other way, if something is bothering them. He has this supernatural power. He can identify if everyone understands what he explains.

Lastly, a good teacher acts like a friend, family, companion, philosopher and guide. He sometimes shows his dominance, but there’s also a sober side to him, which comes out when his pals need him. May it be personal, professional or related to studies, a great teacher is always there to rescue his students from whatever situation they’re in.

Vishal Sir,

We all know and have experienced, the way you teach, talk, act and help. We’re all genuinely indebted to you for all the knowledge you’ve given us, and also for what is yet to come. You have been a great teacher, an inspiring person all this while. On this auspicious occasion of your birthday, on the behalf of all, I say a BIG thank you, for whatever you have done for us, and for as many times you’ve been there to help us. You have your ways of making us learn things, but when we still don’t understand, you go out of your way to make us understand. You are a motivation, a role model of almost everyone. You very well understand us and our abilities and flaws. You’re there to our rescue each time, pushing us to try harder the next time. We really look forward to learn things from you, you make everything interesting and reliable, giving us your owned ‘illogical logics.’

Thank you so much, Sir, from the bottom of our hearts. We all wish you a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. May you have many more birthdays to come, and may you keep spreading your knowledge to everyone.

Thank you. :)