I know you’re being tough. I know you want me to learn some basic lessons about how to become a good person. I know all your plans, and I agree that all of them are ideal. But come, walk in my shoes and I’ll show you, how I’ve got to face you every single day.
I’m a human being at first. A basic, good at heart human being. Or perhaps, that’s what I feel. As far as I remember, I’ve done no wrong to anyone. And I’m a firm believer in “What goes around comes around.” Yet, you’ve sculpted me this way. Shy, introvert, reserved and guarded. You’ve never let my walls down. In a group of people, I’m the most uncommunicative. All thanks to you.
Don’t mind me saying this today, but you’ve been a bitch since past few years. You’ve snatched away n number of friends from me, you’ve made me cry, you’ve made me stay up at night wondering about the futility of my love towards you, you’ve backstabbed me so many times, you’ve cheated on me, played with me, you’ve broken my heart and made me rethink if I really wanted to live. You’ve taken away all those people away from me whom I’d really loved and you’ve made me numb, too at times. You’ve made me angry, you’ve made me jealous. You’ve made me fall in and out of love. You’ve tried to kill me. You’ve made me wish I were someone else. You’ve betrayed me and you’ve broken my trust. It’s because of you that I don’t trust people now. You’ve made me believe that I’d be disliked wherever I’d go. You’ve made me think that I’m an ugly potato. You are the reason what I am today. I owe what I am to you.
Wait, it’s not done!
You’ve been an equal angel, too. You’ve made me fall in love again. You’ve given me new, beautiful friends. You’ve taught me to respect. You’ve taught me to stand by the truth. You’ve taught me to learn from my mistakes. You’ve taught me to stay strong when I was broken. You’ve taught me live. You’ve taught me to accept the things I cannot change. You’ve given me so many things I cannot even thank you for. You’ve given me this attitude towards life. So what, if I’m not those pretty and party girls type? I’m a nerd and sometimes, I’m proud to be one.
I don’t understand if I should blame you or thank you for making me this way?
Sometimes, I’m glad. Sometimes I’m furious.
Sometimes, I wish I’d disappear. Sometimes, I wish I could hug you.
Lets’ hang out, I’ll tell you more. You’d see the real me.
I know you understand me.
I know you’re the only one who understands me.
With love and hate,
Ps. Thanks Arya, for giving me this topic. (Though in a twisted manner, you asked me to write about my friends and that’s when it struck me that I could write this.)
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