I don't miss you. You read it right. I don't miss you, at all. I don't even think of you these days, not intentionally. I can fake a laugh till my eyes get watery, and smile and smile, no matter what. Just that once in a day, maybe twice or thrice, all of it suddenly comes to a halt. I can't wait to be alone, because that's when I won't have to pretend that I'm fine. Suddenly time stops when I pass the spot where we used to hang out, and all the memories rush back at once. Sometimes, when a breeze passes through my hair, it reminds me of your tender touch, giving me goosebumps for a while. Just that when I laugh really hard, I am reminded of the moments spent with you. When it is the end of the day and I'm about to go to sleep, and I have all these things that I feel in my heart left unsaid, I remember you saying that you were here for me to listen to my rants. When I see others happily with their loved ones, I just wish you were with me, or me with you, or we could be together at some place. When someone mentions your name, I have this known feeling that I have stopped acknowledging, but it's there. My friends, who aren't really my friends, opine that I would be stupid if I still thought of you. When I experience something really overwhelming and my heartbeats increase their pace, I am vaguely reminded of the times I have been in love with you. Love, it's a word that has lost its meaning to me. But if someone talks about being in love and the feeling of it, you're the first thing that comes into my mind. When I look at myself in the mirror, and my sight falls over my face, the eyes you said you could drown into, the smile you said you'd die for, the beauty you said you'd treasure in your eyes forever, it all seems to be insignificant. I look at the places you'd touched me, and it feels like I want to rip off my skin from there, so that I can at least get rid of your presence in me. When I see my hand, deprived of yours in it, I remember how it was when you held my hand, saying it was for ever. But I know, it's all a shout in the void. I just feel it all intensely. But I'm firm on what I had said earlier, I don't miss you.
Really awesome Loved itReplyDelete
Apurva... Sorry... I took a long in responding to this story :)ReplyDelete
Ummm... let me find some new words other than beautiful, lovely, well expressed, flawlesss...I think then I'll be able to bring some variety in giving you a perfect compliment to your writings! :)
More power to your pen! :)
Keep writing :)