Enwreathed by fear.

I stood etiolated. I could not figure out what was happening around me. I looked here and there. There was a bunch of known people, while all the others were unknown faces. I was dumbfounded. Things weren’t making sense to me, at least not anymore. Where on the earth was I? What was happening?

I looked at myself. My hairs were open, little messed. I looked blurred, literally. I wore a knee-length yellow piece of cloth, which dangled through my right shoulder. I wasn’t wearing my ring, or watch, or bangle, which I always wore. And this dress? Oh, I couldn’t even make out what attire it was. It was just loosely wrapped around my body. I seemed a little whitish to me- not fairer, but white. My heart had started pounding. I was pale and dull.

I realized people were coming to me, but it was as if none of them saw me. They kept coming, offered sweets and flowers at my feet. But I was sure, they didn’t see me. Why were they not seeing me? Why did no one notice me and my weirdness? I ignored, but stood there. I’d thought when someone known would come; I’d ask them what was going on in here. But all the familiar faces had gone by now. I was alone with these unknown people, and none of them was even looking at me. I felt nauseous. I felt like crying.

I looked straight, in front of me. It was a huge hall, with two doors, one at the leftmost corner in front, and beside it, following a wall, was another door in the rightmost corner. People were entering from the right door and leaving from the left. My eyes kept searching for Mithil, he would surely tell me what was happening.

Mithil, the name itself brought a smile on my face, in spite of the complexities I was in, right now. Mithil was the love of my life cum my best friend cum everything. He made it all worth. He made me live through all the bad times. He loved me unconditionally and I loved him, too. Coming to the present, though I couldn’t find him, I had a gut feeling that he was present there. There is this power in the universe, which connects us to the one we love. I could sense him.

I carefully crossed all the things kept near my feet and entered the crowd. People were talking amongst themselves, and now I thought maybe I knew each one of them. I was just unable to recollect who they were. As I overheard some of them talking, I realized everyone was sad, condolences were being offered and tears were being wiped. I wanted to be sad and cry, too. I couldn’t. Like, someone had surgically taken away those abilities from me. I felt eternal, not happy or sad, just eternal. It was as if I was in the air, I felt light and warm. I wanted to touch something, somebody, or anything. I looked here and there and searched for Mithil.

Finally, I spotted him near the right door. People were entering from that door, and he was leaving. Silly! I thought, he’s always up to something people don’t do. Silly, silly! I loved him to the bits. I began walking towards him. I called him out. Nobody near me heard my voice. I was genuinely scared. I ran towards him. He didn’t seem to see me.

I reached the door. I tried to hold his hand. I could not. I couldn’t get the grip. Neither did he feel my touch. He looked at me, but looked through me, past me. To the place I was standing before. “I miss you,” he said. I couldn’t comprehend whom did he miss, I was right there. I yelled aloud. He didn’t hear me. My eyebrows narrowed out of fear. I screamed his name. He still didn’t hear, didn’t see me. I had gotten restless by now.

Mithil walked out of the door, shedding a tear. Why was he crying? Why didn’t he hear me? Why didn’t anyone hear me? What the hell was happening? I ran hastily, frightened, looking for someone who'd see me, hear me, notice me at least. There was no one. Each second ticked in my mind, scaring me more and more. I keep running. I kept touching people. I kept screaming aloud. Louder. More louder. In vain.

People didn’t see me, people didn’t hear me. They were all sad. They were crying. Nobody even showed a sign of seeing me there.

Was I . . dead? 

“NO. . .!” I shouted, and woke up. I was dreaming. I checked the time, it was 2.56 am, and had an unread text. I knew it was of Mithil.

“Good night, baby. I love you a lot.” It read.

I smiled.